Wednesday, February 6, 2019

GAME DAY REE CAP EVEN THO WE DUE KNOT WEAR EM; CAPZ THAT IZ

white fish wavez everee one

N welcome ta toona tee vee

starrin knot dai$y ore mackerull

but me toona



we iz buzzed happee ta nite

ta bring a re cap
frum game day SUN day

wear de furst ever bowl game

waz played heer in trout towne

dai$y: I had to suffer through this

when it was live, and I’m not about

to sit through the recap

see you later



toona: what everz

az eye waz sayin

we iz buzzed happee

ta bring two ewe a ree runz

oh de live footage we ree corded

 sew with out further a due 
letz roll film



whirrrr ~~~~~


toona:  greetingz everee one 
we iz comin two ewe two nite

live frum perch park 
wher de halibut harborz sooper bowlz



will squarez off... ore in R case 
round off 
gainst de trout towne

supper bowlz 



for R furst ever  
 foot ball game

just look at de turf  !!!


ther bee a record crowd heer oh 
4,890,214,480,234,529,763


 de ref dood hailz 
frum whitefish way 




N we a greed ta pay him 
under de tabull

 sew him dinna hafta filez taxez


manee thanx two ewe 
mizzturr oh fish 
for agreein ta act az ref


de scorez iz current lee tide at 248

ther bee 13 secondz in de forth


 de ball iz on de 70 yard line 
trout towne haz pozzezzion
it iz 4th and 20.


TIME OUT

N now a werd frum 

de bowl game sponsorz


"sugar bowl ore cottonz bowl

who haz de tuffest contendurrz"



 side note ♫

 we dinna understand 
a damn thing

this commershul 
waz tryin ta state 
N hope they dinna pay 
like 6 million for sum air time

"pine de reel wood "


thiz commershulz
bee R fave 🐟
"trout towne tabull ware

lick de plate kleen 
& seen what can bee seen "




toona: we R bak

eye asked azziztant coach mackerull:
due we try fora feeld goal 
ore attemptz a TD

ewe make de call



 N we R bringin in R place kicker 
 ta attemptz a feeld goal


never bee for in de hizz tree 
oh any game haz any kicker
kicked frum de 70 


de clock iz runnin down 
we due knot wanna OT

blooz stepz bak & BAM


DE BALL SAILED DOWN DE FEELD THRU & OVER DE UPRITES

TROUT TOWNE WINZ DE GAME 
!!!!!!!!!!!



after werdz  we did what 

any self respectin cat wood due


we thanked bloo...

all 11 feetz 5 inchez oh him 



asked if him waz gonna bee comez

a free agent 

then we ate 
N napped



N ther ya haz it


game day SUN day 
in de land oh trout


 heerz two a happee healthee week oh end
peace out N rock on 
long live supper bowlz ♥♥

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

AN INTERVEEW WITH SUM PANTZ

whitefish wavez everee one 
N welcome ta de furst show oh 2019 
on toona tee starrin
KNOT DAI$Y ore MACKERULL 
but me toona

we iz buzzed happee ta day 
ta haz az R guest

who stole hiz momz car 
N drove hiz self heer over nite 
N hasta haz it bak bye 3:19 pm 

rememburr dood 
yur an hourz bee hind 
trout towne time 
sew noe knead ta drive 
184 MPH
on de dan ryan 
slo it down ta 173

anyway well come 
pull up a chair 
help yur self ta sum sturgeon

sew we iz wunderin 
why iz ewe called pantz 
N knot..... shoo



pants: thank you for having me here today, Toona. My name is not Shoo because, you see, my lady Alana would never shoo me away. Instead, she would say "Pants, come here. Come." And so I would go. I would go, and I would caress her face, and I would put spicy kisses all over my lady's chin. Senor Pantalones, Sin Pantalones is my full name

toona: my full name iz:
be jezuz eye canna eat nother bite
 well knot for bout 19 minits any way 
til eye am hungree again

dai$y: I think it's very nice 
you like to give Alana kisses 
gram paw dude used to BITE chins
 ankles, legs....but enough of him.  

we understand you call Chicago home 
you know that Mr. Capone lived there 
maybe he still does 
we are bad at numbers and such 
and we're wondering 
if you've ever met him

pants: no, I have never met him, but if he comes to the house looking for the love of my lady, he would quickly find that I am not in the mood to entertain!  When I escape the house a few times a year, as my feral nature compels me to do, I adventure around the block.  Mostly, I stay in the yard and climb the tiniest bushes because, as you may know, my secret to looking very big is to keep the bush small. My lady's magnetic pull keeps me close to the house. I let her worry only a little, and then I show up, always before 11 pm, to retrieve my meal and her heart.

toona: hay speekin oh buzhez
we heer yur mom went ta werk ina 
TREE HOUZ!!

HOW... KEWL.... IZ ....THAT!

pants: Ah, yes. Tree House Humane Society, the matchmaking service that placed me with my lady Alana. You know, I am very proud of her. She spends all her days working to manage the marketing of Tree House, getting their name out, spreading their good deeds, and helping other cats find their homes. I can only hope all cats can one day find their lady as I have found mine. When she comes home each night, I give her kisses on her chin to let her know that I am pleased. She just started, of course, but she has big plans and I, with my love, shall help her achieve them.

toona: well dood we gotta pay 
de lite bill 
sew we gotta cut ta comershul  
manee thanx
for drivin in ta day  

thatz it for thiz weekz eppa sode 
oh toona tee vee
see ya next week 
N rememburr R slogan

dai$y: we don't HAVE a slogan

mackerull:  

HELPZ 

EYE IZ STUK IN
DE ELL A VATORZ 





Wednesday, January 23, 2019

DE REE TERN OH TOONA TEE VEE

whitefish wavez everee one

we iz buzzed happee ta a nounce 
that toona tee vee starrin
KNOT DAI$Y ore MACKERULL
but me ~ toona

haz been ree newed 
for de 2019 seezon

we hope ta bring ewe de latest
nooze..

dai$y: B.O.R.I.N.G. 
I want to talk about fashion, 
shopping, handbags, cash, ME

mackerull: eye am hungree 
and eye knead sum food 
eye am a kitten with at a tood

toona: as EYE waz sayin 
toona tee vee 
will bee fee churin R palz 
sum storeez 
N any thing we can find 
ta talk bout 
bee sidez bass terd burd

we iz buzzed happee 
ta welcome bak 
de camera dood



de band memburrs


R sponsor 
crankee azz cat chow 


dai$y: be jezuz tuna,
crankee azz lookz like 
exorcist azz

tuna: 😠 
we well come
de audee antz 
who we thinked 
we'd never see again 
afturr de bass terd LOAN 
fee azz co 


dai$y: the band and audience look exactly alike ~~~

mackerull: eye will now purr form 
lazer sir jerry 
on thiz mouz



pleez join uz next week
on
 TOONA TEE VEE

when R guest will bee

senor pantalones sin pantalones

TIL THEN 
peace out N rock on

 mackerull: hold still ewe bass terd


toona: long live 
my patientz