dad and me
just some random thoughts
when I was young ....dad used to read to me
the story titled chicken little
and I was told that he read it to me so many times
that if he skipped a verse, I would let him know so.
dad was big on magic tricks
and always pulled a quarter out of our ears
and my
siblings and I were fascinated
not only with that skill
but also that he
could talk like
Donald Duck.
in my toddler years
dad and I always had to check out
the yellow concrete step behind the laundry matt
just because
it was there
and we liked to fly kites out along River Road in Tiffin.
Dad always told us to mind OUR manners
at the kitchen table
yet.... when HE ate shredded wheat
he’d work the square until hunks of the wheat
were sticking out of his mouth.
He liked to gross us out like that
just like he insisted on having orange juice with pulp,
a beverage we found gross too
Some of dad’s likes were bulldogs,
goats, the color
red, snacks, cookies, pot bellied pigs,
coney island hot dogs, the big
boy sandwich
and chocolate shakes.
Dad enjoyed gingerbread; well, any type of
bread actually; and uncooked flour tortillas
as well as pickle burgers
He enjoyed reading, could be quite the poet,
he liked fishing, bowling and golf.
I learned a lot from dad out on the golf course
when I
tagged along
there was a WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE
I never learned
in school
and I learned that if you put strong
emphasis
ON these words,
they became even ....more meaningful.
Dad saw Jesus Christ on the golf course
.... a lot ......
especially after taking a swing
and even tho I used to be dad's caddy
I personally never saw Jesus
we played putt putt on many occassions
and sometimes we went to the driving range
long lives the memory of the time he took a swing
the ball flew up and back and landed
on the tin roof above our heads
the doods on either side of us
tried their best not to laugh out loud
and to make him feel better I said
boy ya shot that one outta the park !
Dad enjoyed the history channel,
Notre Dame football
and was a fan of Tiger Woods.
He was also a fan of CCR, Flat and
Scruggs,
and 3 Dog Night
as well as a couple of tunes by Oz
dad was a big fan of the song "Centerfield" by John Fogerty
he liked to smoke a pipe
he enjoyed yuengling beer
and dad was sad to see his
favorite candy
be "put out to pasture" ,
however just this past fall
{ 2018 }
it made a
come back;
the candy is called Licorice Snaps.
and is made by American Licorice Company
I was glad he got to
enjoy the bag
I gave him at Christmas { 2018}
my dad accomplished something
I don’t think many others
EVER have;
he could sleep AND drive.... at the same time
Dad hated day light saving time,
and he despised fruits
and vegetables.
had he been able to afford it,
dad would have lived in the city
by the bay
he was short on temper and short on patience
but he was
long on wise cracks and long on humor
his sense of humor was just
one of his traits I inherited
there’s been many a time when we discovered
that
what was funny to dad and I
didn’t always go over so well with
others,
particularly family members.
there was the time we
pulled a cat turd out of the litter box
dried it, & dressed it like Mr
Hanky of South Park fame
and gave it to mom for her birthday
and
then there was the time the Butcher, our bulldog,
ran down the basement
steps at dinner time
grabbed a muzzle full of meatballs in sauce
ran
back up the stairs
and hacked the food onto my grandmother’s lap.
I learned from dad there are basically three types of
gas
the type used for fueling an engine
the type used to heat homes
and the type of gas that attacks ones own anus.
Dad could clear a
stadium
by attempting to expel the anus attacking type of gas
and I
marveled that he never passed out
from the smell of his own fumes.
Dad taught me how to play chess
and I learned that sometimes parents LET you win....
just because.
He enjoyed Sudoku and online PC games as well.
Like anyone who’s ever lived
he had his “duh” moments
too
one of the most memorable was the time
he looked out the patio door
& said
hey.... there’s a cat that looks
just like boomer on the deck...
turns out, it WAS .....boomer on the deck
yet we never knew how boomer got there
We were comfortable enough around each other
that we
didn’t always have to have a conversation
and I knew when he just needed
a few minutes to himself
like the time we went to the War
Memorial Museum in Auburn
to see the Saulsbury FDNY 911 rescue truck
that was on
display
We went to that museum several times
and dad was always like a kid in a candy store,
looking at the WW2 tankers and equipment they had inside
I took dad to the world police and fire games
one year when I still lived in Indianapolis
and IFD had a full gear display
set up
they challenged everyone to see how fast they
could suit up for a fire
I got one leg in a boot and was trying
to adjust my pants when dad said
forget it kid, the damn house has
already burnt to the ground
.... took you too long !!
My dad liked to make up his own...quotes...
and he liked using the word.. ass... in his quotes.
your mouth runs
like a ducks ass,
kiss my big wide
cellulitic ass,
don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out,
and your ass siphons canal water
were just a few of his favorites.
I never really did figure out the
canal water one.
he liked to call my cat dude... greeez ass
and even though he'd never admit it
he loved dude, daisy, boomer
tuna, sauce and mackerull and perky too
I learned from dad that "holes"
came in varying degrees
"holes" dug for planting
"holes" on the golf course
donut "holes"
and going back to his favorite word in the dictionary
"ass"
there were ass "holes" too
and not to give "hole" all the props
ass it's fair share as well
our family of five
were; smart ass, dumb ass, lazy ass, stupid ass
and fat ass and the nice thing about this was
the family could "switch" what
type of ass they wanted to be on any given day
dad had another saying about a goat rodeo
....I'll just leave it at that....
with the exception of this update
on 4.10.2019
and dad.....I know...you know.....of what I speak
dad could make a wisecrack at the table
and he and I would be "bite your lip" type of laughing
which pissed my mom off to no end ~
one of dad's favorite authors was Herbert Asbury
he liked to talk back to the tv
cuss every driver
and the first thing he did when coming into the
side door at our house in Tiffin, was nab
a cookie out of the cookie jar, even if he was wearing
a winter glove
we worked together pretty well as a team
though we
weren’t always the sharpest tacks in the pack
we put together two build
it yourself book shelves
only to discover after it was all said and
done
that the back was attached incorrectly
and we were looking at the
side that should go against the wall
and then there was the time we
miscalculated
how much cubic feet of rock was needed
to landscape the
perimeter of my house
we used the old grass fire truck that day to
haul the rock
and if we made a trip to the hardward store 15 times
we made it 25 more
my family liked to take Sunday drives when we lived in tiffin
going no where in particular
yet still having a really great afternoon
and we’d stop at baskin robbins before going home
so everyone could get a cone of their choice
Dad reminded us on one such Sunday
as we drove to the outskirts of Bucyrus
just how fortunate we were
..... that was palm Sunday weekend when tornadoes
had devastated much of the Midwest
and we saw first hand the power of mother nature
dad liked his tools and built from scratch a cradle,
he
helped my grandfather Bum build
what we called the barn,
he rebuilt Bum's park bench,
made us an outdoor flower pot bench,
he put together
countless air plane models
and built the SS dude,
a schooner replica that I still
have today.
Dad could read a blueprint
but couldn’t read a recipe
to cook a meal
to save
his soul
if the game Monopoly was..... real life.....
dad would put real estate
tycoons to shame,
yet he lost his own credit card... countless times.
Dad was an engineer at his day job
working in the
States, Mexico, & Germany...
in Germany he road the Audubon at 100 plus,
and he
also worked in Singapore.
he told me in Singapore they use pythons instead
of guard dogs
but I don't know if this is true
or he said this to freak
us out
this brought me to the random thought
of the time I found a garter snake under the recycle bin
when I was bringing it into the garage
I freaked and swept it into the sewer drain
across the street from my house
dad told me I shouldn't have done that
because the snake was going to wind it's way
back up the drain and was going to nab me when
I sat down on the toilet
I honest to cod was paranoid for several days
after he said that
during his stint in Tiffin while at GE
at Christmas time, both GE and National
Machinery would decorate their buildings and
we would drive out to see them
we always teased dad in a way, as the
the company he worked for; GE
only had lights on display,
but National Machinery
had lights AND music ♫
dad was a volunteer fire fighter
for close to 55 years,
serving on three different stations,
Clinton Township, Wayne Township
and Aboite Township
he was an instructor, an arson investigator
and he could tell you the make and
model of a fire engine
from two miles away
He along with two “brothers”
started the fire station
located in Aboite township
and he was the recipient of one of the highest
honors
a firefighter can receive,
ladder truck 187 was dedicated in his
honor
dad loved his family at home
dad loved his family within the entire fire service
and dad loved his bulldog Clyde
We’ve seen each other through thick and thin
we’ve been through the worst of times and the best.
Godspeed Spanky I am going to miss you
more than you
know
I am proud to call you both my dad
and my friend
Tell everyone I said hi.
The last thing dad said to me was
I love you ♥
and the last thing I said to dad was,
I love you ...even more❤️❤️
May 1, 1935 ~~~ March 15, 2019
