AN INTERVEEW WITH SUM PANTZ

whitefish wavez everee one 

N welcome ta de furst show oh 2019 

on toona tee starrin

KNOT DAI$Y ore MACKERULL 

but me toona

we iz buzzed happee ta day 

ta haz az R guest

pantz frum chi town 

who stole hiz momz car 

N drove hiz self heer over nite 

N hasta haz it bak bye 3:19 pm 

rememburr dood 
yur an hourz bee hind 

trout towne time 

sew noe knead ta drive 
184 MPH

on de dan ryan 
slo it down ta 173

anyway well come 

pull up a chair 

help yur self ta sum sturgeon

sew we iz wunderin 

why iz ewe called pantz 
N knot..... shoo

pants: thank you for having me here today, Toona. My name is not Shoo because, you see, my lady Alana would never shoo me away. Instead, she would say "Pants, come here. Come." And so I would go. I would go, and I would caress her face, and I would put spicy kisses all over my lady's chin. Senor Pantalones, Sin Pantalones is my full name

toona: my full name iz:

be jezuz eye canna eat nother bite

 well knot for bout 19 minits any way 

til eye am hungree again

dai$y: I think it's very nice 

you like to give Alana kisses 

gram paw dude used to BITE chins

 ankles, legs....but enough of him.  

we understand you call Chicago home 

you know that Mr. Capone lived there 

maybe he still does 

we are bad at numbers and such 

and we're wondering 
if you've ever met him

pants: no, I have never met him, but if he comes to the house looking for the love of my lady, he would quickly find that I am not in the mood to entertain!  When I escape the house a few times a year, as my feral nature compels me to do, I adventure around the block.  Mostly, I stay in the yard and climb the tiniest bushes because, as you may know, my secret to looking very big is to keep the bush small. My lady's magnetic pull keeps me close to the house. I let her worry only a little, and then I show up, always before 11 pm, to retrieve my meal and her heart.

toona: hay speekin oh buzhez

we heer yur mom went ta werk ina 

TREE HOUZ!!

HOW... KEWL.... IZ ....THAT!

pants: Ah, yes. Tree House Humane Society, the matchmaking service that placed me with my lady Alana. You know, I am very proud of her. She spends all her days working to manage the marketing of Tree House, getting their name out, spreading their good deeds, and helping other cats find their homes. I can only hope all cats can one day find their lady as I have found mine. When she comes home each night, I give her kisses on her chin to let her know that I am pleased. She just started, of course, but she has big plans and I, with my love, shall help her achieve them.

toona: well dood we gotta pay 

de lite bill 

sew we gotta cut ta comershul  

manee thanx

for drivin in ta day  

thatz it for thiz weekz eppa sode 

oh toona tee vee

see ya next week 
N rememburr R slogan

dai$y: we don't HAVE a slogan

mackerull:  

HELPZ 

EYE IZ STUK IN
DE ELL A VATORZ 

DE REE TERN OH TOONA TEE VEE

whitefish wavez everee one

we iz buzzed happee ta a nounce 

that toona tee vee starrin

KNOT DAI$Y ore MACKERULL

but me ~ toona

haz been ree newed 
for de 2019 seezon

we hope ta bring ewe de latest

nooze..

dai$y: B.O.R.I.N.G. 

I want to talk about fashion, 

shopping, handbags, cash, ME

mackerull: eye am hungree 

and eye knead sum food 

eye am a kitten with at a tood

toona: as EYE waz sayin 

toona tee vee 

will bee fee churin R palz 

sum storeez 

N any thing we can find 

ta talk bout 

bee sidez bass terd burd

we iz buzzed happee 

ta welcome bak 
de camera dood

de band memburrs

R sponsor 

crankee azz cat chow 

dai$y: be jezuz tuna,
crankee azz lookz like 
exorcist azz

tuna: 😠 
we well come

de audee antz 

who we thinked 

we'd never see again 

afturr de bass terd LOAN 

fee azz co 

dai$y: the band and audience look exactly alike ~~~

mackerull: eye will now purr form 

lazer sir jerry 

on thiz mouz

pleez join uz next week

on

 TOONA TEE VEE

when R guest will bee

senor pantalones sin pantalones

frum de cat in de fridge

TIL THEN 

peace out N rock on

 mackerull: hold still ewe bass terd

toona: long live 

my patientz

REZT TA TWO SHUNZ ~~~~ 2019

whitefish wavez everee 

N welcome

toona tee vee 
will be bak next week 

N in de meen time 

eye mackerull  
iz spozed ta make 

new yeerz rest ta two shunz 

tho eye dunno why

eye promize ta fite 

de big katoona 

everree chance eye get 

eye promize ta bother him 

when himz uzin de box 

tryin ta sleep 

eatin food 

N just chillaxin 

eye promise eye will 

chew mor cordz inta two peezes 

eye promise ta rest 

on de top oh de stove

eye promize to knock 

whatz up..down 

N get into whatz opened 

like drawerz 

de dryer

N closestz N stuff

eye promize ta eat mor blankits 

eye promize take stuffz 

outta de sink 

N hide it in de houz

eye promizee ta knock 

me waterz dish over 

spill de kibble bowl

step in me wet food
N trax it all over de houz

 eye promize ta toss litter 

and de waste 

outta de box 

eye promize ta bee 

a good art stew dent 

with de toy let paperz 

eye promize ta pre vent 

de FSG 

frum gettin in de houz 

by layin gainst de door 

eye promize ta get stuck 

bee hind de washin masheen 

eye promize ta eat plastic bagz

when eye see em 

eye promize ta jump on de desk 

N knock de fone 

outta de holder 

when a callz comin in 

eye promize ta scratch 

de wallz coz it soundz 

total lee like chalk board

eye promize ta ambush 

de big katoona & de food gurl 

when they iz comin 

round de korner 

eye promize ta fite 

de kitshun rug

chew on towelz 

 drink showerz water

play in soap sudz 

N see what de yeer 

holdz in store

signed thiz 16 day 

oh jan ewe warry 

in de yeer 20 and 19

mbjbf

MY FURST EVER CHRISTMAS BYE MACKERULL

whitefish wavez everee one 

itz me...mackerull
with me furst post bout

"dood in red day !! "

christmas waz de best
EVER 
and it IZ 
all itz cracked up ta bee

me N de big ka toona 
getted sum chow frum de vetz

that costz:

$7,309.13 
a bag

 a new cat food can coverz

that eye can take outta de sink 

while de food servizz gurlz at werk

 N drag all over de houz 

like eye did this one 
that waz finded in de closet

N best oh all 
eye getted sum new 
art suppliez

eye due hope 

ewe all hada 
most eggz cell ant 
dood in red day 

next week eye am 
s'pozed ta tell

what me new yeerz 
rest ta two shunz R

heerz two a happee 
healthee week oh end

peace out N rock on
long live holly dayz 
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

TWO GLEEK WHO LOOKZ LIKE GRAM PAW DUDE

whitefish wavez everee one 

anda happee new yeer 

two ewe all

we hope 2019 bringz

lotz oh happeez 😺
healtheez 🐠

N total awesum nezz 😻
two each oh ewe

two dayz post iz dedicated 
ta R

total lee awesum lee 
mega soooper kewl

catster pal 

GLEEK

who leeved

for his 10th life 

a yeerz ago 
on new yeerz day☹️

we haz been friendz
for 924 yeerz 
N we will never 
forgetz ewe Gleek ♥♥

AND
 we will never forgetz 

DE PACK AGE WE FINDED 
ON DE DOOR STEP
BOUT 2 WEEKZ AGO

👿👿👿👿

best joke ever dood !!!
we lovez ewe
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥